Drowning
by The Lady Rogue
Summary: Harry finds himself drowning, after the war. *Themes of suicide and depression.*


Pub, Harry?" Ron called out as they left the DMLE for the day.

"No thanks," Harry replied, attempting a smile. It was likely closer to a grimace, but Ron didn't notice.

"Don't fancy being worshipped by your admirers?" Malfoy sneered at him as he walked past Experimental Potions. Harry glanced at him, then away, and went home.

* * *

"SHE SAID YES!" Ron hollered as he ran through the DMLE to Harry's office. Harry shook himself out of his stupor. She said yes? Harry frowned in confusion. Ron ran in, beaming wide.

"SHE SAID YES!" Ron yelled again, and swept Harry into a hug, and Harry had a moment of revelation.

"Congratulations!" Ron thumped him on the back and ran off to spread the news. Harry glanced up to see Malfoy watching with a vague look of disgust on his face.

"Vulgar," Malfoy muttered to himself.

* * *

Robinson was dead. Harry stared numbly at his corpse. Wasn't he supposed to feel… something? He absently flicked his wand to disarm the wizard they'd been chasing down, then bound him with another flick. He tapped the badge he wore, one of Hermione's ingenious inventions.

"Robinson's down. Send the healers. I've caught Jenkins," he said, then went through the motions of trying to heal Robinson. It wouldn't help. Robinson was dead, and none of the procedures were going to help with that.

Malfoy appeared on scene, and began taking stock of the potions the drug dealers had been stocking.

"At least it wasn't you, ey Potter," Malfoy said. Harry started agreeing with him until he realised what Malfoy had said. He frowned at Malfoy. Malfoy watched him with sharp eyes. Harry shook his head and ushered the healers over.

* * *

"You think you're so great, don't you Potter?" Malfoy sneered at him, completely out of the blue. Harry looked up from his lunch. It had been nothing special, just a cheese and ham sandwich.

"What do you want Malfoy?" Harry said with a sigh. Malfoy withdrew his wand and cursed him, and Harry managed to get a shield around himself just in time. Malfoy was watching him with an expectant look upon his face. Harry picked up his lunch and walked away, and locked himself in his office. Kingsley said he had to spend his lunches in the auror canteen. It boosted morale. Well, they could do without him for once.

* * *

"Malfoy thinks there's something wrong with you," Hermione said. Harry quirked his lips at her.

"Malfoy's always thought there was something wrong with me."

She snorted a laugh.

"True enough. You are all right though, aren't you Harry?" He gazed into her eyes, and smiled widely.

"Of course I am Hermione."

* * *

Harry wasn't really surprised to find Malfoy in his office, lounging against his desk. Malfoy surged forward, covering Harry's lips with his own. He stood a moment, feeling. Malfoy was attractive, that was for sure, but Harry hadn't been interested in that sort of thing for a while. It was never very satisfying, and seemed hardly worth it. Instead, he pulled the door open wider, and stepped back.

"Fuck!" Malfoy swore, ducking to the side as every junior auror glanced over to see what the fuss was. "What the hell, Potter!"

Harry walked away.

* * *

"Enjoying yourself?" Harry glanced at Malfoy. It was a Ministry ball. He doubted anyone was enjoying themselves, apart from the smarmy politicians that hosted this.

"Yeah," Harry said. Malfoy raised a single brow.

"Liar," Malfoy said. "Be honest for once. You might enjoy it."

Harry raised his own brow. "Perhaps. But no one else would."

Malfoy closed eyes for a moment. "Perhaps. But does that really matter?"

* * *

Harry loved high places. He'd never felt that fear of falling, like so many did. As a wizard, it wasn't difficult to get himself up high. A disillusioned broomstick was all it took. Today he sat in the eaves of Big Ben. London was beautiful, pink with the setting sun. Harry looked down.

Would it hurt? He doubted it. It was tempting. The next great adventure.

But Harry didn't want an adventure.

He leaned back, and was suddenly aware that there was another person up there with him. Harry sighed.

"Come out, Malfoy."

Malfoy appeared, unashamed. He looked unusually serious. He seated himself next to Harry, and took Harry's hand. Harry looked at the pale fingers twined with his own tanned ones. He couldn't be bothered to remove them.

"If you jump, you'll take me with you," Malfoy said. Harry looked into Malfoy's eyes. They were such a light grey they were almost silver.

"I won't jump," Harry said. They sat in silence. Harry realised there were tears streaming down his face, but Malfoy didn't comment.

"I want to," Harry whispered. Malfoy's fingers clutched his own tighter. "But I can't. I have responsibilities."

"That's not a good enough reason," Malfoy said, his voice harsh. Harry shuddered.

"Help me?" Harry asked quietly.

"Of course. But first you have to help yourself. Take us down from here. Let's go to Grimmauld Place." Harry gripped tighter, touched his wand, and apparated the two of them into his kitchen.

"That's the first step," Malfoy said. Harry half laughed, and half sobbed, and wrapped his arms around Malfoy, irrationally grateful, and hating him all the while.

"Come on," Malfoy said, and coaxed him into a chair. "I'll be here for you. We can do this, together."


End file.
